Monday, November 5, 2012

Hard Read

(It happened. It's part of our lives and while we're heart broken, WE are not broken.)

39 week sonogram peek before she was to be born in two days.
We arrived at the Dr's office full of excitment and awaiting details.
Things changed.
We were told, "I'm Sorry". 
No Heartbeat.

No reason. Heart. Breaking.

We quietly gathered our things and received hugs from strangers.
Not comprehending. 
We sat in a daze while Dr's tried to speak to us.
No comprehending. 

A cab drove us to the hospital.
Nurses surrounded us with sad looks and took us to our room.
Our families were called. Our families showed up. Our families were in shock.
I delivered her normally two days later.
The room was silent when we finished.

I was glowing seeing her, even though she was not breathing.

She was gorgeous, everything I ever wanted and the best thing ive ever done.
7 pounds 13oz, 21 inches of perfection.
They say cord, but, we may never know.
We love her, we miss her, we yearn for her... we will not forget her.

Dylan Mae Kirby.

We're meant to be parents and a family.  We are not discouraged to try again. We made one perfect little girl, we're determined to do it again.

Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts through this very sad time. We feel it.


Natalie said...

So beautifully written, Carrie. Your beauty and positivity radiates. So much love. ♡

KJS said...

I could not find you on Facebook, and now I know why. Carrie, I am heartbroken reading this, and tears are streaming down my face as I read it. I wish I was closer to give you the biggest hug I possibly could... I just said a prayer for you two, and for your families and will continue to for the days to come. A close friend mine also went through this exact thing two years ago, if you want to talk to her let me know. I'm so so sorry Carrie. May God heal your hurt and your pain... (((HUGS)))

Alexa said...

Carrie - I've been thinking so much about you since I heard the news. You are an amazing, strong, courageous person and I'm so honored to know you. I should have never said that you kick homeless people. :-) I'm so very sorry for your loss but I know that you are surrounded by so many people who love and support you. Much love from me. Alexa said...

Love you both. Not that it helps but my sister had miscarraiges but they kept trying and has 2 beautiful and amazing kids who I absolutely love and am so proud of. When it's meant to be, it's going to be so awesome!

Gabriella Fiorenza said...

Love to you from part of your Arizona contingency. I am moved and inspired by your courage and spirits.
Gabriella & John

Beth Haftoglou said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Carrie. Your words are powerful as is your story. Wishing you and Scott all the best. Sending you big hugs from Wisconsin.... Much Love, Beth

Anonymous said...

wow, Carrie. I'm SO SO sorry!! I had no idea... your radiance of positivity is truly amazing. i know you're surrounded by an extremely loving family and have no doubts you guys will bounce back and have another gorgeous little babe!